If your depression is sporadic and generally manageable, following are some suggestions that I would make that can go a long way in helping you achieve the kind of peace you want.  These strategies can also be used in conjunction with other therapies you might be considering or are already utilizing, including medication.  I have gleaned these ideas over the years based on my own personal experience as well as the experiences of the seemingly hundreds of Christians I’ve counseled for depression.  While I have considerably awareness of secular counseling techniques, my counseling is Biblical and pastoral in nature and addresses the mental, physical and emotional issues in conjunction with spiritual principles.  I often refer individuals to trusted professionals for additional assistance in more serious chronic cases while I continue to assist them or refer them to another.  I am a strong believer in working with counselors who are believers as there often be inherent contradictions in secular counseling with sound spiritual and Biblical principles.

So, first, change your expectations.  I find that depression is often associated with unrealistic and/or unfulfilled expectations.  The “American dream” isn’t all that dreamy anyway.  Sometimes the modern Christian portrayal is that if one “gives it all to God” (especially your money via a particular church or ministry) all will be wonderful.  Now test that in view of our model of Christianity, Jesus himself.  In reality this concept is unrealistic and even counter to what we see even in Christ’s own exemplary experience.  Such promise does attract a lot more people though.  This world is not heaven and we must not expect to be “happy” every moment of every day.  Sorrow is a part of a healthy, realistic life.  Reality is not always pretty and needing to be “high” all the time leads individuals to all sorts of gimmicks to try to achieve it, even to the point of using drugs, alcohol, immoral sex and other harmful activities.  Real life in Christ certainly won’t keep you high all the time, but it will bring you the most joy.

Movies and marketing often send very unhealthy signals to the unsuspecting and naïve.  I am encountering more and more individuals who fall prey to being disappointed with life.  I find young men and women who have in their minds some ideal of a mate and will likely never be satisfied as the mental “ideal” is just not realistic.  I find so many who get to where they were trying to go in terms of education and career and find out that it’s not making them happy.  Many young people pursue fulfillment through popularity, relationships, sports, money, careers and other life situations, only to find out it’s just not there!  God said, “Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live” (Isa. 55:2-3).  Too many spend far too much on far too little and end up far from where they want to be.  Figure that out and you got it.  Paul said, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment…” (Rom. 12:3).  Don’t think more highly than you ought, but don’t think to lowly either.

Second, if you’re truly a melancholy personality, turn your personality into a strength.  I have long observed that one’s greatest strengths are also that person’s greatest weaknesses.  Conversely, in our weaknesses we often find sources of untold strength too!  For sure, being melancholy presents inherent weaknesses.  However, it also paves the way to some great strengths.  Some of the greatest leaders, thinkers and innovators in the world were or still are quite melancholy, Abraham Lincoln being one of the best known.  The melancholy mindset brings a seriousness and a reality focus.  The melancholy mindset brings mental storms that must be settled, and their settling often brings solutions to problems.  I’m going to say more about this in another article.

Third, make a decision about Christ.  Straddling the fence is awkward and frustrating.  Many Christians try to live half in the world and half in Christ.  This is ultimately impossible.  This duplicity brings frustration and, for those predisposed, depression.  In such case, one has enough of Christ to not completely enjoy the world anymore, but not enough to find the true underlying joy of being in Christ.  It was Elijah who challenged the Israelites about their trying to serve both God and the idol Baal saying, “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him” (1 Ki. 18:21).  You just gotta choose.  Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money” (Matt. 6:24).  I think “money” as used in this statement is symbolic of all the worldly things and purposes.  You simply cannot serve both Christ and the purposes of this world, as they are opposite.  This prolonged sense of frustration will be very troubling and even depressing.

Fourth, take care of yourself.  I’m talking about your body here.  Get the proper amount of rest.  Learn to manage stress.  Get some exercise of some kind.  Soak up some sunshine.  Manage your work schedule.  Don’t overload yourself.  Treat underlying illnesses.  Each of these is a long discussion within itself, and there’s lots of science behind each.  I can tell you for sure that when I start feeling down, the first thing I try to do is go take a nap and rest.  I used to try to live on just a few hours of sleep a night and I would just wear down.  At some point I’d shut down too.  I’ve learned to take much better care of myself over the years.

Fifth, resolve conflicts.  It takes a heavy toll to harbor the animosity, anxiety, and the anger involved in conflict.  Learn to deal effectively with conflict.  Paul said, “In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Eph. 4:26).  You get that?  Unresolved anger, like other troubling emotions, will give the devil a foothold in your life.  He is the prince of darkness.  No wonder when he gains a foothold out inner being becomes so dark, as it is in depression.  Did you also catch what Paul said about dealing with your anger daily?  Jesus said, “Settle matters quickly with your adversary…” (Matt. 5:25).  Manage your conflicts and do it quickly.  If you are harboring “unforgiveness” toward another, forgive them for your own and God’s sake even if you think they don’t “deserve” it.  Then start dealing with your “stuff” daily rather than letting it fester inside.

(Continued in Part 8)